If we compare mahr and kalym, then mahr is installed by canons of nikah and is the property, which belongs to the girl.
As is known, mahr is the right of the woman to the man in obtaining material resources according to the canons of nikah. Mahr is paid before nikah or during it called "early", and after Nikah - "delayed". You can fully pay mahr as early and postpone it.
Mahr is the price (money or valuable property) that husband allocates to his wife in marriage. Pay of mahr elevates a woman's value, satisfy her needs, provides a guarantee for the future and shows the importance of nikah. Since the mahr is the right of woman, the right of ownership of these facilities as well hers. Without the permission of the woman no one has the right to use this property.
Kalym is the custom, which eliminated the Prophet (may Allah bless him and welcomed) but in some regions it is present today and it looks so: "During the marriage, the son-in-law must pay money to the father-in-law (or the family)". It has nothing to do with the Mahr. In our time, in some Muslim societies, the fathers of the girls take kalym from guys, not having this right. They think that these are the price which guys pay for their daughters and therefore do not give these things to daughters, not spending it on wedding expenses or spend, but a very small part.
If we compare mahr and kalym, then mahr is installed by canons of nikah and is the property, which belongs to the girl. Father has no right to this property. Kalym is understood as a benefit from the sale. Since you can not sell a free man, you can not get the money for own daughter. In fact it is a bribe, and it is a sin. When the cat wants to eat her baby, she is an animal that she eats with pleasure (mouse) and then eat it. In our time, greedy for money and fathers who do not know religion, take a kalym, presenting it is as mahr. They believe that it is legal, thus committing a sin.
Kalym is not mahr. On the jurisdiction of Islam, the guy who paid kalym, has the right to demand their return from the girl's father. If he had already spent it, the guy may claim the money in other ways. Father, who gave himself to Islam, should not take these sinful money, or if, by reason of ignorance, he still took them, then he should immediately return them.
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