“Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them.” ( Qur’an 2:187)
Almost every married couple will tell you the same thing, getting married is the easy-part, it is staying in that marriage that’s the real challenge. The era of quick fixes and instant gratification makes it easier for us to remove ourselves from any obstacles that come our way, rather than to see it through. As a result, many marriages reach an end before they’ve actually begun.
Collis Ta’eed, CEO of Envato, says that he recalls his father once saying to him‘marriage requires attention, the moment you stop working on your marriage is the moment it begins to falter’, and at the time, he thought this a rather unromantic take on the aspect of marriage. Ta’eed goes on to say that it took him a good few years into his own marriage to see the sense in his father’s words.
Below are 6 practical guidelines on how to improve your marriage from the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (S.A.W) as shared by Mufti AK Hoosen on a recent edition of Cii Radio’s Bliss of Marriage:
1. Greet each other
It might seem odd that something as simplistic as greeting each other could make a significant difference in your marriage but the Prophet (S.A.W) himself has said:
“You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you about something which, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread salaam amongst yourselves.”
2. Give a random gift
Gifts don’t have to be extravagant, but should be simple reminders of how special your spouse is to you.
A flower from the garden, a note in their lunch box, a thoughtful gesture that can go a long way in making your spouse feel valued and appreciated.
Couples, after some months into a marriage end up perceiving ‘home’ to be the place where they can be their miserable self without having to worry about the repercussions of this. Whilst this is true of ‘home’, it does also add a certain element of strain on your marriage and partner when this ‘self’ becomes a habitual part of your being.
Not only is smiling encouraged in Islam for the sake of fostering good relationships, it is known to release endorphins, lowers blood pressure, makes you look more attractive and, best of all, is contagious.
4. Share the same utensils
According to Mufti Faraz al-Mahmudi, Author of ‘The romantic prophet _ How to be romantic with your spouse’, the Prophet (S.A.W) would intentionally search for and place his lips on the side of the cup where his wife’s lips made contact.
5. Call each other by terms of endearment
It was a traditional norms of the arab culture to call each other by a pet name, referred to in Arabic as a Kunya. The Prophet (S.A.W) himself would use affectionate names amongst his wives.
6. Maintaining Dua
“Whoever makes dua to Allah, Allah fulfils his seeking or in exchange averts misfortune until the dua is not related to sin or breaking some relation.” (Tirmidhi)
The contents of a married life varies for each individual. Whilst some may feel they had gained everything they had ever prayed for, there are those whose experiences aren’t as pleasant.
In either situations, it is essential to turn to Allah foremost for the prosperity in your marriage lies in HIS hand alone.
(O my Lord! Grant unto us a spouse and offsprings who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous) (Surah Furqaan. Verse 74)