Subtle forms of contempt



In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the compassionate!

The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and greet him, said: "It is sufficient evil for a man to despise his Muslim brother, and for every Muslim should be inviolate life, property and honour of another Muslim!" But often, that contempt becomes the barrier between members of the Ummah, that contempt prevents healthy, sincere relations.

Contempt is not always clearly understood by man, but it is evident in his words and deeds. Neglect - this is the main sign of contempt. When one man neglects thoughts, feelings, experiences, problems of the other, he thus expresses his contempt for him. 

Neglect is an attitude to the man, if he is a minor personality, and everything that goes with him, too insignificant. 

In what appears neglect?

Neglect occurs when:

- The problem of the other person is not taken seriously (for example, a man talks about his difficulties, and his friend is busy with a computer game, or telephone);

- When the significance of the problem is denied ("Do not worry so!");

- Is denied the ability to solve the problem ("nothing you can't", "do you think that you have enough forces on it", "how much can you try" and etc.).

Neglect is also expressed in ignoring. For example, the wife asks her husband when he comes home, and her husband says, "I will come back when I want to". That is, he seems to be saying to her: "I'm not important your question, your concern".

The neglect or contempt is expressed not only in words but also in his voice, gestures, facial expressions, posture, etc. This leads to negative relationship between adults, and to the development of pathology in regard to children and parents.

Neglect concealed in flattery or statements that are the opposite of what people think. For example, one woman asks another, "How do I look", and she responds with an exaggerated admiration: "Amazing!" Like the word says one thing and tone, views and mimics are another.

Ridicule and ironic comments - this is another kind of hidden contempt for the man. For example, work done worse, but the boss says to subordinate(sarcastically) "I see you are working as you can!" Or one expresses a failed idea, and the other replies: "You are a genius!"

This, of course, does not mean you have to give up the jokes and friendly communication. But the important thing is that underneath the fun and appeals to each other is not lurking any contempt or neglect. If the chief finds that the work is bad and this is the fault of the employee, he should express his opinion in a respectful manner, not making fun of the employee. If the husband does not know what time he comes back, he can say that he will return as soon as the end of the case and warn his wife, if will be delayed. If one girlfriend believes that new dress does not become her girlfriend, she should say so, without mocking compliments and neglect: "You know, I think it does not fit you. Let's see another".

The problem of neglect for the believer in the fact that it prevents to treat respectfully and honestly to brothers and sisters in the faith. Contempt makes a person regarded as unworthy of respect and importance of anything that takes place in the life of other believers. Contempt eventually blocks the path of sincerity and faith of the person. After all, in the words of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and greets, "You will not enter Paradise until you have faith, and you will not believe until you love each other". Also in the hadith Qudsi: "There is no love above respect". And contempt directly contrary to respect for the honor and dignity of another. And then the person thus opens a path to destruction.

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