Question: I find myself in a very hard emotional state. I'm Russian; some time ago I met a young man from Tajikistan, who came to Russia on earnings. I loved him; I left my religion and сonverted to Islam. We concluded Islamic marriage (Nikah). But after a few months he left me and went back to his home country.And then told me that he wants to marry the woman of his nationality, and he had no obligations to me. Recently I’ve found that I'm pregnant. I feel so badly - I love this man, I converted to Islam in order to be with him, and he left me,he betrayed me, treated me so badly. Give me some advice. (Anna)
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
It is indeed unfortunate that this man married you whilst he was fully aware that you were not of the same nationality as him. Although you loved him sufficiently to revert to Islam in order to marry him, it appears his intentions were not sincere.
Sister, he does have obligations towards you since he married you and you are carrying his child. Have you contacted him and informed him that you are pregnant? I suggest that you try to get him to acknowledge that it is his child and that he will take responsibility for the child’s upbringing and care. Try to get in touch with his family and ask them to speak to him and to also assist you regarding the child. Also, if it is possible, try to contact the Imam or person who had performed your Nikah so that they can confront him regarding the coming child and also his treatment of you.
I would also like to point out to you that even though he has betrayed and hurt you, you have been granted the greatest and most special gift any human being can receive. You have been given the gift of Imaan and Allah’s love.
This love is greater than and more worthy than the love of any human being on earth. Sister, allow me to suggest that you do not give up the faith of Islam. You have been guided to Islam and I suggest that you put Allah Ta’ala before everything and everyone else.
Your husband is a human being who has betrayed you. However, no matter what difficulties and hardship you may experience in bringing up your child and no matter how much heartache you may suffer, remember that the rewards for accepting Islam far outweigh the loss of your husband’s love. Allah’s love for you is infinite compared to man’s love which is temporary.
At the moment your future appears bleak and painful. However, don’t give up hope in Allah Ta’ala’s love for you and look at the bright future ahead. It does not mean that your life of happiness should be over because of this person. Your life is worth more than this.
It will be nice for you to get in touch with other Muslims in your area and join them to learn more about Islam and its practice. It will be helpful for you to learn how to rear a Muslim child from birth and to also learn the responsibilities of a Muslim mother.
You are in a very difficult situation and you are being tested severely as a young mother. I make Dua that Allah grants you respite and lets you see better days. Amin.
Please do not hesitate to contact us should you require further advice.
And Allah Knows Best.
Mufti Suhail Tarmahomed